Tuesday, January 25, 2011


I have been busy lately, as aviation training has taken up a lot of my spare time. I am proficient in precision aerobatics and have full control of the aileron roll. I loop like I poop, and can do the 1/2 Cuban Eight any day mate. The barrel roll is in my soul; wingover like Red Rover, Split S, YES!, and the Immelmann man. I am designed to soar.
I've been practicing my yoga, the stretching, rolling,
the 'tuck'n'roll',
somersaults, bouncing,
basically being indestructible.

I'm certain there is still no question as to my true identity.
Here I am seen only as the cute wiener dog, or 'cute little dude' as the little girl kept saying at Christmas.
I am adored.
As proof, they dressed me up in this silly sweater to "keep me warm." Heh. heh heh ..heh..such fools.
Yes, I am aware I am the one who looks foolish. But, who would ever suspect the silly looking wiener dog? Nobody would. 

Except me, that time I gave it all away...
Mum just falls for my cute little trot, and little brown eyes - even when she knows I'm up to no good. I make her weak with my superpower cuteness. We never, ever go to sleep mad.
It's at night when I get my best work done.
It's a fine home with plenty of food for others, while my dish remains insufficient. I have to scavenge for most of my food (I would like to remind you, again, to have something done about the size of my dish. I am growing weak.)
I do find that lately my comings and goings are observed with some suspicion. I assure you my mission has not been compromised. It's just that it's been to cold to poop outside. 
Each day I guard the tomato plant pot (or do in my dreams when it's too cold outside for tomatoes or poop).
I interrogate the others daily.

And, of course, I do all that cute wiener dog stuff that makes those humans melt.

Mr. Mustard

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Attn. HDQ:

RE: bra brief

I have successfully destroyed an item of considerable importance to head female of the superstructure after it set off the metal detector I rigged up in sleep. I am certain that the wired device has great significance, as it is worn under her clothing every day.
The evening was quiet, and everyone was preoccupied by their computing devices, allowing me ample alone time in the room called "the closet."  My suspicions have been leading me toward this harness for some time, especially due to the incredible costs involved (apparently female humans spend around $16 billion a year on these contraptions). I quickly chewed it into two separate cups and removed the wired instrument. You can rest assured there will be no more transmissions from Otto Titzling from this superstructure.

Mr. Mustard

Wordless Wednesday