Friday, December 3, 2010

The Potato Eater


Attn. HDQ:

I was able to access a bag of small round potatoes and commence analysis on four samples. In my benefit was Mum's lack of knowledge or understanding as to where I was finding the potatoes, allowing me to seize one after another for almost an hour. Each acquisition was taken into my plush laboratory in the warm kitchen corner, where I was able to execute my nibble experiments for considerable time thanks to my stealth thievery.

Sincerely,
Mr. Mustard 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

:P

When your little tongue is this cute it is highly recommended that you stick it out when your Mum taking your picture. Humans turn to mush for this kind of adorableness.
I'm also feeling quite jazzy in my new jingle-puppy collar. :)

Friday, November 12, 2010

Attn. HDQ:
Exceeding the ordinary, my combined senses are always at work. I don't just sniff and taste clumps of grass, I listen to it too. Kind of like eating Rice Bubbles™.

Sincerely,
Mr. Mustard

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Attn. HDQ:

I have as my prisoner a small duck.

Stories of The Golden One, and what she does to ducks like him if he were to be laying freely on the open floor, keep him frozen in fear. I have wounded his cute little orange feet with my puppy teeth so he can not waddle away.
I have one eye on him at all times. 
Interrogation will commence in the morning, on the big bed with humans, newspapers, and coffee. An update will follow.

Sincerely,
Mr. Mustard

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Clifford's Christmas Wish List

Dear Santa Wienerclaus,

I would like some wiener dog crayons for Christmas please!

Love always,
Clifford

Friday, October 29, 2010

Operation Orange

Attn. HDQ:

My mission to examine the machinery of the things called "oranges" was unfortunately nullified at an early stage. As you can see, my progress was coming along well when I was discovered by the one called "Mum".

The capture of the orange was easier than I expected, much like the small green tomatoes in the garden. I was able to seize specimen O-1 when it rolled out of Mum's purse and on to the floor.
The laboratory in the basement, established by Prof. Wensleydale, would have been ideal for further study of the shell of specimen O-1 which I had begun to break into subsections.
The interior of specimen O-1 came as a great surprise. I have noted that the fluids would be ideal for imitation puddles within the superstructure.
You will be notified when I am able to capture another.


Sincerely,
Mr. Mustard

Monday, October 25, 2010

I WON! I WON!


I won FIRST PLACE at the PetSmart Halloween costume contest and parade on Saturday! My first win! I didn't quite know what it was all about, but I never turn down adoring attention. I wore, of course, my Mr. Mustard costume. No one suspected a thing!
 My big sister Claire protected me from big dogs who wanted to eat my mustard.
 There were two other Miniature Dachshunds, Robinhood and Tinkerbell.
 I was a sausage wiener, Gromit dressed in his favourite lobster costume, and Claire was a butterfly.
Me, strutting my stuff ...and my mustard.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Attn. HDQ:

After searching the entire innards of the green stuffed duck I can affirm there was no implanted device. There was another duck to be interrogated but I'm afraid it has already been decapitated by the Golden one, and remains in her captive.
Biting into the cattail autumnal display was greatly successful, resulting in thousands of lighter than feather seeds to be dispersed all over the superstructure. "Mum" was so busy attending to the fluff I was able to dispense a small puddle of liquid without notice.

My objective to secure the blue slipper for further investigation has been thwarted repeatedly. I shall remain calm and carry on.

I have grown suspicious of the small tomatoes from the garden.

Yours,
Mr. Mustard


Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A Little Dog in Little Dog Lake

 I went swimming this weekend in a lake named after me, Little Dog Lake.

At first I was like, woah, this is crazy, what are my brother and sister doing?!
Then I saw the stick in Claire's mouth and just had to jump in.  

Then I got the stick!

My brother Gromit and I ran along the muddy beach. It was so much fun to jump up on Mum with my cute little muddy paws. I left as many marks as I could.
I found a great piece of bark that was almost as big as me. Even big sister Claire was jealous of my big bark.
I had so much fun swimming and running on the beach, but that was a lot of work for a little guy. 
At the end of the day I was so tired 
I could hardly keep my cute brown eyes open, 
I fell sound asleep snuggling on Dad (but not before Mum snapped the flash in my eyes, 
gee thanks).

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Attn. HDQ:

It has been nearly two weeks since my mission has begun. I am gaining increasing comfort with my surroundings, and have already been able to manipulate much in my favour. The young biped with red fur has been completely persuaded; and while I still sense some hesitation from the long eared one I firmly believe my houndiness will win him over soon.

I was able to keep in my possession a single piece of footwear for an entire two days, allowing me to run diversified testing before returning it to "Mum", who was eternally grateful to have it back.

The assignment to distribute deposits within the chambers of the superstructure have been negated by all three bipeds. None of the transmitters have survived. I will continue to dispatch both forms until I am advised to stop.

Most of my information is sourced during the dark hours when I can curl up as close as possible to the frontal lobes of the ones called "Mum" and "Daddy!" enabling me to absorb acumen that will be most useful for my much anticipated future usurping.

I am somewhat disappointed in the amount of kibbles allotted but I have been able to secure both other sources on an almost daily and so have been able to keep my strength up, amazingly.

I will follow up with administrative details and file another report within a fortnight.



Sincerely,
Mr. Mustard

Monday, October 4, 2010

Never Underestimate The Little Guy

I may be just a little red dog, but I can easily swipe a duck away from my Golden Retriever sister Claire.
Step one is to get the duck, step two s to run and hide under a chair where she can't reach me. :)

I LOVE THE TREE FARM!

On Sunday my family brought me to the Tree Farm that I've been hearing so much about. Claire and Gromit rave about this place with all it's tall pines to hide in, and green fields to run in. They weren't exaggerating at all - this place is FANTASTIC!
 I leaped through the tall-to-me grass:
 and flew through the air like a wonder-dog:
Gromit showed me how to hurdle over the irrigation pipes....





...and which direction to head down the roads.

 Claire and Gromit were both so impressed with my stamina - I ran the whole way along side them. It was so much fun! Mum and Dad thought it would wear me out, 
but not a chance, 
because I have the energy of ten dogs.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Montreal Wiener Dog Races

As my first post I would like to draw your attention to a very important event:

The third annual Montreal Wiener Dog Races, organized by Montreal's Dachshund owners, will take place on September 11, 2010 at the Parc Notre-Dame-de-GrĂ¢ce dog park. To learn more, or to register visit their website Montreal Dachshund Races. This year, this magnificent event is a fundraiser for the SPCA Laurentides-Labelle and Tiny Paws Dog Rescue.

What can you expect at Montreal’s 3rd Annual Wiener Dog Races?

* Wiener dog races!!
* Wheeled doxie races
* Seriously stupid pet tricks
* Best dressed competition (Gromit and I would win this hands down.)